As Madeleine nears three and well into her TERRIBLE Twos (should be Too’s since it’s TOO MUCH!) she sure can press my buttons. Now I will be the first to admit that I have a bit of a temper. I wish I was more zen and calm and frankly, I don’t know how I got so bad with the rage issue. So far I have not destroyed anything nor hit anyone, especially Mads so I guess it’s in check but I have banged tables and kicked toys around in frustration. It’s something I now I have an issue with and hopefully it will not be a major problem. But anyway these days Maddie will actually disobey me on purpose to see how much she can “bend” me and my rules. In a perfect serene, Disney-like world, she is a delightful and charming mischief-maker like Tinkerbell and I’m the bumbling and easily agitated Captain Hook. But actually she is a vampire sucking the joy out a quiet afternoon and I am Van Helsing.
As the parent-in-chief, making a very small child do what you want takes a lot out of your energy and sanity. I have managed a small movie theatre back when I was twenty with a staff of about 15 teenagers and that was nothing compared to the anguish of some hell-raised days Maddie gives me. Before my temper flares and I give her a tongue-lashing I try try TRY to calmly reason with her in our native English language. I have come to sound like a comic book super villain with the warnings I have given her. I have actually told her that:
“Don’t make me angry…You won’t like me when I’m angry.”
and
“You don’t really think you will win do you?”
and something to the extent of:
“If you do not put that down, I will make you regret it!”
Since when did I become Dr. Doom? Has all those years of comic book reading seeped into my subconscious to make me become such a Stay-At-Home Geek?
At least I can laugh at it. And even if I do morph into a hulking raging beast-like parent yelling and screaming at my child to stop throwing her toys at least I know in my mind and my heart that I make her laugh WAAAAY more than I make her cry. And after a few minutes she we forget the whole battle incident.
Poppa Penguin 
March 21st, 2012 at 10:52 PM
Hi – I am an old friend of Wendy’s. That post was brilliant and gosh do I know the feeling!!! It is TOO much. And they know each and every button to push and at the most opportune for them inopportune for us moment. It is maddening. I often wish I was more zen too. I look at all the people who seem calm and wonder, what am I missing. I actually had gotten so bad I decided to start my challenge, the no yelling for 365 days thing. Guess what? I’ve gone 43 days without yelling and have found zen. So if i can do it, you can!!! (and PS isn’t it also maddening when you throw a toy and it “talks” back to you by singing some silly song??! LOL. Totally destroys the moment!).
March 22nd, 2012 at 4:07 PM
Thank you. Yes I remember meeting you back in the BU days when I started dating Wendy. She had told me about your blog/experiment/challenge/torture a few weeks back. I like it, it’s a very light-hearted and funny blog and something I should follow on a daily basis. I’ve read some of your posts and I cannot believe you’re dealing with the stress of (not yelling) at 4 boys!! Surprisingly, I, too, count the yell-free days and relish in the fact that we have a great days or even weeks but those days have come and gone. Seems the older and smarter she’s getting she’s testing the waters and pushing the buttons to see what she can do, manipulate or get away with. Unlike me with my dad, who I was afraid of, I don’t want her to feel the same way but at the same time I do not want her to be raised a brat, lacking manners and discipline. Like I said, I don’t hit but yelling seems to get what I want 99% of the time. She’s a great kid and 99% of the time she will apologize afterwards and I will too and we’re best buds all over again. I used to feel really guilty about making her cry when I yelled at her but either through numbness of it or learning to justify it it doesn’t bother me too much.
I’m just wondering, when your 365 days are done, what then? Other than extreme pride for accomplishing your goal, will you just continue the day count, start over, or go to a mountaintop and scream your lungs out 😉
March 22nd, 2012 at 2:07 PM
First of all, Maddie is a normal two yr. old who is going to press the buttons on you & Second, you are a normal parent, frustrated with the age. You will learn how & when to pick your fights with the little “Angel” (Nonna’s angel) & there will always be another phase, much up to the time til she gets married. You have done an amazing job with the whole parenting scene & I am extremely proud of you, as you should be. Just hang in there & welcome to the world of parenthood. You never stop being a parent at any age. But you will never regret it! Love you!