V for Vagina

I don’t know why I held off teaching my daughter the name of her naughty bits until now. I think mostly because for girls it’s not a concern early on. In other words, no extra appendage hanging between your legs. Young boys can pull and play and hold their penis especially come the time they start potty-training. My Maddie touched her crotch maybe 5 times in her life so far. Another reason I never mentioned it and I’m sure you’ll find this weird and silly but I was planning on not calling it a vagina. I could be very odd at times I will admit and part of that is my technical thinking [for lack of a better word]. I try hard to say INTER-resting instead of IN-tresting. It’s called being ironic not being sarcastic. A tomato is a FRUIT!! I blame my very precise grandmother for this who corrected me often and it must also be in my genes. It was always YES not YEAH. Like I said it’s annoying but who I am. I drive my family crazy with this habit of mine of over-correcting and being right as much as possible.

Anyway, I don’t like it when people refer to the exterior genitalia of females as a “vagina” because technically it’s not. The vagina is inside the woman. So I had this very crazy notion to teach my daughter the correct way to describe or refer to her crotch-area.

However, after discussing this with my wife and mother I decided to stop being such an ass and call it what everyone on planet Earth calls it. There’s no reason to make her an outcast early in life despite her being more correct than most people. No one likes a Smart-Alec.

Maddie started calling it her Va-China the first couple of times. I blame Ni Hao Kai Lan for that.

All I know is in a round-about way I will be worrying about that vagina or vulva or whatever for a long time; until she gets married at least.