Well Maddie’s been over a lot of milestones and hurdles in her 28 months of life. Crawling, walking, talking, eating with utensils, putting on her own shoes and even blowing her nose. But we still have the biggest milestone/hurdle to go.

THE POTTY.

She’s been on the potty many many times so far.
She doesn’t much like it—depends on her mood at the time.
We’ve tried coaxing with candy.
We read on it.
She plays with the toilet paper.

She’s even training at preschool and still nothing has happened yet.

We’ve even ran the faucet to trick her mind into going pee-pee.

But danggumit, she’s giving it some tries.
We applaud her anyway. [some positive reinforcement can’t hurt]

One thing I’ve learned though…You know that old trick of dipping someone’s hand in warm water while they sleep to make them pee themselves?

Doesn’t really work. Maybe they have to be asleep. I dunno.

It was worth a shot.

My wonderful wife brought home an iPad back in late October. She didn’t buy one either but won one at a work-related event. As a graphic designer I’m basically bred on Apple products. I’m a very cynical person but Apple is one of the few companies I trust [products-wise]. I’m on my second iPod and second Apple home computer. If I was working full time I’d have an iPhone believe me [I’ll get one soon I WILL!]. We’re even thinking of trying out Apple TV but they don’t support Hulu but once they do we may check it out. I was very ecstatic about the iPad when it was announced thinking it was a very unique product. It had a very broad potential to many different walks of life and people and fields of expertise as well as great for entertainment purposes. When my wife won one I nearly hit the roof. I never thought I’d see one soon much less use it personally.

My first idea behind the iPad was that I can totally utilize checking my mail and surf the web without running to the home office and leaving my daughter alone for a few moments in the living room. For the first month or two that’s what I did until she got curious and wanted to check out my new toy. I then realized that there were a ton of Apps geared toward toddlers and pre-schoolers for educational as well as entertainment purposes. From learning her ABCs and numbers, shapes and colors to identifying animals and animal noises and even some audio quiz apps teaching for instance what sound is the clanking of glasses versus plates banging against one another, my Maddie is addicted to the iPad now. ADDICTED! As of this writing she uses the iPad more than I do. No joke. Not only do we use the apps but she watches her own playlist on YouTube [mostly a mix of Sesame Street, Yo Gabba Gabba and other Nick Jr. and their ilk] but she knows how to turn it on and navigate through the different options. When she watches a video on YouTube she knows how to push play, raise the volume and when she wants to stop the video press the DONE key! She knows more about the iPad than both my parents and my in-laws. She actually calls it by name since December. She will say “iPad” and when she doesn’t see it in the room she will turn to me and request it by name. A month or so back I used the iPad to console her when she was re-adjusting to her mother going back to work from the long xmas break that she was off from work. It was and still is a life-saver. My wife even got me an awesome xmas gift of an iPad holder for the rear of my car’s headrest so it will basically act as a video player for Mads for long car trips. We used it once so far for a long drive [over an hour] and she watched Peppa Pig with no fussing and was happy as a little clam.

But getting back to the great Apps the iPad offers. For all you moms and dads out there looking to maybe enhance the learning capabilities or even to broaden the options of what to do education-wise. Look into maybe investing in an iPad. Even though we were lucky and won one, if this one were to break tomorrow I would seriously buy a new one within a week. It is a very useful mini-computer for the home. Truth be told I use the iPad way more daily than my spiffy new iMac. From the news to weather to games, cooking and even reading books I am totally sold on this little gadget. But more for my daughter’s sake would I rush out and purchase this glorious little gizmo if mine were to break tomorrow. She totally loves learning on it. And me and my wife think she is smarter [for her age anyway] because of it. She’s not even two and she knows all the basic colors and alphabet and shapes. She’s working on her numbers now but is also great with identifying animals. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think its all because of the iPad–She may just be a very fast learner but I see how the apps interact with her and how it makes it fun to learn. There’s also a ton of childrens’ books that read and interact with the reader. I do see the irony of “reading” on a computer tablet instead of actually the printed word but so what! If this little gadget could make kids learn faster and better than I don’t care. Heck, she’s already learning basic computer skills too. I didn’t touch a computer’s keyboard until I was in middle school in the early 90s. Kids of this generation are born with the modern computer skills whereas our parents still struggle with the basics. Maddie will have an email address by the time she’s 3 or 4 probably and a Facebook page shortly thereafter. It’s crazy but it’s going to be a fact. I was actually thinking of getting Maddie her own iPad as her personal computer when she’s in elementary school instead of a desktop or laptop because what’s the point really, the iPad is really the only computer she’ll need before high school/college.

So in conclusion, Thank you Steve Jobs and the geniuses over at Apple. I look forward to the next wave of innovative and unique [as well as can’t-live-without] products.

Went to Toys R Us today. I don’t think I will ever complain about going to a toy store and now that I have a daughter I still get a kick out forwardly-thinking what toys we’ll get her in the future for her birthdays and Christmases. But today I went to return something from the Babies R Us side of the store but made it a point to venture over to the TRU side to check what they got. Without going too much into a confession but I still from time to time buy toys for myself. I don’t play with toys, they are mostly for show as collectors items so to speak. I grew up a huge Star Wars fan so I always check out the latest action figures and if the mood and luck is right I’ll pick up a new Boba Fett “collectors item.” What can I say I’m still a kid at heart. Which is why, I cannot wait until Maddie actually plays with toys and dolls instead what she does now which is basically observe them and throw them. I will play toys with her I know it in my soul. Even if it’s Barbie I will play along if she wants me to. Hell I was excited a few years back when a very close friend of mine had his first son and he like me was a huge Star Wars fan and for the kid’s first birthday I bought him like 4 action figures; all non-age appropriate. My friend was nothing but pleased and grateful. I had a ball buying those figures in the store especially without the added guilt that I’m now buying them for a real kid other than the one still caged in my heart. 
Now I’m sure Maddie will not be a huge Star Wars or Spiderman fan as me so I fully understand and expect she’ll play with other toys more topical to her generation and gender related but I’d be lying if I didn’t out hope that she will like the stuff I like as well. I’m not going to push it (although for her first Christmas I did buy her a Boba Fett and R2-D2 figures, in time she’ll appreciate why) because I feel what a child gets into or likes should come naturally but seeing my hobby room with all these action figures, movie posters and other collectibles she may get curious enough. When she makes the honor roll and I take her to pick out a new toy I may pick one out for myself as well. 
So I’m wondering if I’m going to the toy store more for her or for me? I sometimes have to stop myself from getting her all these new toys. Not so much to not spoil her or that she isn’t old enough for some of these toys but I want to get her new toys so I can play with them, to stimulate me while I watch her day-in, day-out. While she may be happy with her blocks or Melissa & Doug puzzles I need something to build or create. She recently got Mega Bloks and that is a step in the right direction. I was a Lego Maniac and I’m the one now building the towers for her to destroy. She also got Play-Doh but isn’t into that right now. But I look at the toys in the store at stuff I would want to play with or play with her with I should say.
I don’t think women think like this at all. I would hate to sound sexist but from my experience and own observations I never saw a girl be into toys as much as my boy  peers growing up. It didn’t help that most girl toys were lame and hardly what I call role-playable. How exactly do you play with a My Little Pony? He-Man had swords and guns and could do battle with a legion of interesting villains but Strawberry Shortcake had delicious-smelling friends. It’s a shame to me really because I would want Maddie to be stimulated and creative with her toys not just dress them up and brush their hair. But back to my point which is a SAHD is the perfect playtime companion when it comes to toys. My aforementioned friend was grateful for the action figures I bought for his son because he too was going to play with them with his young boy. I’m not the only 30-something man still buying toys and action figures. Most of my friends still get collectibles or memorabilia which bother their wives. You ladies don’t get it and probably never will.
So I may not be playing with Star Wars or the Incredible Hulk with Maddie but there will be something she and I will play with together. It’s a fact. And I will have fun too!

Found this song on YouTube while watching videos of Yo Gabba Gabba and Sesame Street on the iPad with Maddie. It is my official theme song now.

Today was Maddie’s second session of Toddler Fun, which is essentially a preschool preschool. It’s an hour of basically a classroom setting but with zero rules. Theres a ‘teacher’ but she’s more or less like a facilitator providing the kids with crafts and cleaning up the messes. She doesn’t teach because the kids are 2 years or younger and they barely do the crafts. In this class there’s 4 other kids and their Moms (yes, I’m the only dude in this class of course) and we mostly do the crafts and kid wrangling. So for the first half hour Maddie goes around the room playing with everything and anything, from the decades-old toys to the books to the blocks. Last week she didn’t do the craft at all but this week she did some of it in-between her running around. Then they have a snack and then the teacher does some sing-a-longs, reads a book or two and then plays some music. Maddie somewhat cares but all-in-all she’s respectful for not causing too much trouble. It’s hardly easy to make sure a toddler maintains any classroom decorum. If they don’t bite another child then it’s a success in my book. 

Yet I can’t understand why I am so stressed these past two classes. Why do I feel like she has to be better behaved than she is at home? By that I mean that since it’s a class or a school-like setting do I think that if she doesn’t sit still for the songs or the story or even look my direction for the craft than I’m a bad parent or she’s a bad kid. It’s absurd to feel that way I know, especially since I know she’s a great well behaved girl. I just get a little stressed I think because there’s other people involved. Even before we had Maddie I never even entertained the idea of taking her out to dinner at an early age especially at prime times. Even now we respect the environment we take her to whether it’s for eating or traveling. The last thing I want is for her to act out or have a fit in public especially a restaurant and suffer the embarrassment of being that couple with the obnoxious baby. I guess I embarrass easy in that regard. I don’t know if it’s pride or courtesy but it stresses me a tad. So I think when she’s walking away from the parent-child circle when the teacher is singing a song, I get a little agitated because I may be thinking that the teacher thinks Maddie doesn’t give two shits about her or the song or class and I foolishly think it is a bad reflection on us. But I always have to remind myself that SHE’S 20 MONTHS OLD!!

Christ, if I’m thinking this now what will I stress about when she’s in middle school? 

Happy New Years and welcome to 2011. First day of the year and I’m tending to both my girls with stomach flu. My wife is handling it so far OK but Maddie is fighting it like a champ. I don’t know if it is because I’m home with her but she’s only been sick twice with a cold since her birth. Out of all the kids we know that go to day care Maddie is by far the one with the best health track record. I myself is rarely sick but gets sinusitis every time the seasons change but it’s more of a nuisance than illness. But this is Maddie’s first stomach ailment and it wasn’t as easy as a common cold. In the middle of the day without any food we had to wait 2 hours of non vomiting until we could give her a meager teaspoon of pedialyte. Sipping that teaspoon was like finding an oasis in the sahara for her. Now we also had to wait 15 minutes between those teaspoons to make sure it stayed down. Luckily it did but those 15 minutes were the longest me and my wife have ever waited. Maddie cried, screamed and even thrashed around like a feral cat until she got some more nourishment. It was like a temper tantrum times ten. Finally we gave her a whole bottles worth of pedialyte and afterwards she was her old self. Took a short nap and woke up happy and hungry. Meanwhile my poor wife is getting worse so I essentially was taking care of both of my gals. 
Right now they are tucked in and sleeping soundly and I watched a quick flick, ate some left overs and drinking some Scotch (it is necessary after a day like today plus I think the alcohol kills the stomach virus; I had Scotch last night for New Years and it’s the reason I’m giving for so far not getting sick, so I’m trying it again). I gotta admit that I’m feeling very good at the moment…I took care of two sick girls without losing my mind all day. Battled one of the worst ailments of my daughters, so far, life with the worst crying bout i’ve seen her give since July of 2009 without cursing or losing my cool which I am aught to do in high stress situations and I’m still in good spirits despite all this. Now it could be because Maddie seemed to be feeling better later in the day and even laughing and playing but I think with the new year and this new blog about being the Stay-at-home Dad I think after a day like today and how successful I was today I think I’m finally getting the hang of this. To be able to still feel good about my situation and to handle not only one crisis but two I now I am doing a great job. I can definitely say I am the right man for the job. It has always been important to me whether if I was a manager of a movie theater or a baseball umpire or a graphic designer to confidently say I am doing a good job to the best of my ability and can effectively handle it. Nothing displeases me more than someone who is completely under qualified for a job, especially who works alongside me or above me. But anyway as 2011 starts (not so greatly) I’m looking very confidently and joyfully ahead in knowing I’m not only getting better at all this but that I’m still enjoying every day as a happily married man and as a SAHD. Cheers!

We watch NBC’s Parenthood. At first it was the impressive cast that got us interested and then we were hooked that it wasn’t as silly and far-fetched as the 1989 Ron Howard/Steve Martin dramedy. But what I am most impressed with and enjoy is Sam Jaeger’s character who happens to be a SAHD. And besides his charm and good-looks he actually enjoys and is at ease in letting his wife work (she is a lawyer) and he’s totally fine in not working but watching his daughter. Call it good timing that I’m going through the same thing but now I’m watching this dude every week going through the same thing on a popular TV show. Of course in an hour-long drama with a cast of 20 he’s not always highlighted but he has had some good moments. But in our family I’m hardly the highlight too.

But last season he was more laid-back and less interested in going back to work (he’s a contractor/handyman) but this current season they gave him the conflict of wanting to do some small jobs to help out some people and juggling the time between his daughter and those jobs. But I totally agree that any one, not just men, should not only have an outlet outside the home and kids (especially when being home with the kids ALL DAY is your day) is needed and healthy but doing some work not a hobby is also important especially when one is a professional. I’m a graphic designer by trade and all I need is a good computer with Photoshop to do any work so me saying a home raising my daughter is perfect because there’s not too many jobs one could do in the comfort of ones’ own home. I’ve done some freelance work since losing my job in 2008 and they are mostly small jobs for friends and family but I have done some corporate work as well. Frankly, at this point I can barely juggle my graphic work and my daddy responsibilities. She sucks up most of my time that I can devote to anything not related to her. As of now she is on one nap a day and it’s maybe an hour-and-a-half, two hours if I’m lucky. Last year when she was on two naps I had more time to do some work but now I an barely check my email. So I mostly stay up later at night to do work these days when I get freelance work. But I’m never super busy so it works out. Surprisingly and fortunately we are doing fine financially on one-income, so fingers-crossed, we can stay afloat as long we can.

Now I’m not saying that I will never go back to work full time but I just don’t see that happening anytime soon. In the decade I worked full time as a designer I had one job out of six that I liked and an office I enjoyed working in. Call it bad luck or bad profession but I am very bitter and reluctant to return to that life. I will take sleepless nights, dirty diapers, crying for (seemingly) no reason and temper tantrums over the mindless office politics and asshole bosses any day. I don’t need to go to an office and commute hours away to feel good about myself. I’m confident enough that I don’t need recognition, promotions or accolades from some boss. My baby is my boss now and she may be over-working me and whiny like an office boss but she is by far the best boss I ever had. Sometimes she gives me a lunch break too.

Here’s to my new buddy, The Jaegermeister!

I didn’t do much preparation in starting this blog. I didn’t even research if there was any other SAHD websites or blogs that I may be aping or making what I’m writing redundant. My wife said there’s a couple but she said they are mostly negative or written with bitterness or resentment about the situation they are in and cannot wait to go back to work. So if I’m still in this frame of mind and good humor about being a SAHD then I may be the first one writing publicly about the joys as well as the pains of staying at home with my kid. I also plan on being very glib and easy-going in writing this blog. Very impromptu. The best thing about this blog is that I am not a professional at being a SAHD. I don’t know if I ever will be. I think I make at least one mistake every day. Nothing major of course but something I shake my head at. But like how Doogie Howser wrote his end-of-episode diary entries or Carrie Bradshaw wrote her journal about her sex and the city adventures I guess I plan on being the SAHD Carrie Bradshaw. What Doogie, Carrie and I have in common is how unprepared or inept we are at what we do. Doogie was a 15-year-old surgeon, Carrie jumps from one disaster relationship to the next and who had friends who were even worse than she. I am totally new at raising kids so we all have our journals, diaries, blogs, etc. to express our thoughts, desires, mishaps, joys and pains and epiphanies to whoever cares to read or listen.

I have to give much love and incredible tribute to my wife. Not only is she busting her butt working every (long) day to make sure there’s food on the table and heat in the house but she’s also the inspiration for this blog. She thought it would be a good idea for me to have this blog for many reasons but the main one is for my benefit and my sanity to maybe jot down my adventures as a SAHD and express myself. I know of some guys who do the stay-at-home gig but they eventually go back to work or it was only for a short time. I also know of some guys who work from home and don’t/won’t/can’t do the fatherly duties even while being in the same house. I’m the only husband I know that from my daughter’s birth to now (20 months later) is still seeing no end in doing the SAHD gig and my wife and I even talk about what would happen if we had another child in a few years and I think I would still stay at home in the same role. From the get-go of my wife’s pregnancy we knew I would stay at home and my wife was totally on board and still (surprisingly) praises me and thanks me for being a SAHD. I still have bouts of guilt that all fiscal responsibility is on her shoulders but it has calmed down a lot. She assures me that she loves her job enough that she has no qualms going in the office everyday, although she does desperately misses time with our adorable daughter but she is very grateful that I am the one home watching her and that we don’t have to put her in day-care or burden someone else. So I cannot thank, support and love my working wife ENOUGH. She is our rock and our captain and I am her loyal first mate.

First thing I did my first day as a SAHD was watch Mr. Mom. I haven’t seen it since the 80s. It did exactly what I thought it would/should do. Make me laugh and prepare me for the unknown. The funniest thing I found with Michael Keaton’s hapless stay-at-home patriarch was the difference he handled things in spite of how his wife or how a typical parent/guardian would. And I don’t think he handled them badly or that he didn’t know how to handle these wacky and new experiences it’s how he solves his troubles or his kids troubles. The grilled-cheese sandwich isn’t melted enough? Use the clothes iron that is already hot…why not? Problem solved. The innovation that he shows is a great inspiration not only for the light-hearted humor but as a SAHD it relieves some stress for any future problems or crises. As a critical thinker AND now as a stay at home parent raising and caring for a baby I have to think faster and more creatively. What would ease my child’s teething pain? What can I do to make her eat her lunch? Her blankey is filthy and needs to be washed and SHE ABSOLUTELY CANNOT GO ANOTHER MINUTE WITHOUT IT!! As a parent you will learn to think faster to solve these issues or you will go insane. And it has nothing to do with gender because every parent will learn to cope with the new issues but I think the way the issues are approached and solved might be gender-centrically different. That’s the main point to Mr. Mom in that a man at home with kids might use unconventional means to figure out the madness at home. At least that’s how I might be as a SAHD.

I think I should write the remake screenplay.