As Madeleine nears three and well into her TERRIBLE Twos (should be Too’s since it’s TOO MUCH!) she sure can press my buttons. Now I will be the first to admit that I have a bit of a temper. I wish I was more zen and calm and frankly, I don’t know how I got so bad with the rage issue. So far I have not destroyed anything nor hit anyone, especially Mads so I guess it’s in check but I have banged tables and kicked toys around in frustration. It’s something I now I have an issue with and hopefully it will not be a major problem. But anyway these days Maddie will actually disobey me on purpose to see how much she can “bend” me and my rules. In a perfect serene, Disney-like world, she is a delightful and charming mischief-maker like Tinkerbell and I’m the bumbling and easily agitated Captain Hook. But actually she is a vampire sucking the joy out a quiet afternoon and I am Van Helsing.

As the parent-in-chief, making a very small child do what you want takes a lot out of your energy and sanity. I have managed a small movie theatre back when I was twenty with a staff of about 15 teenagers and that was nothing compared to the anguish of some hell-raised days Maddie gives me. Before my temper flares and I give her a tongue-lashing I try try TRY to calmly reason with her in our native English language. I have come to sound like a comic book super villain with the warnings I have given her. I have actually told her that:

“Don’t make me angry…You won’t like me when I’m angry.”

and

“You don’t really think you will win do you?”

and something to the extent of:

“If you do not put that down, I will make you regret it!”

Since when did I become Dr. Doom? Has all those years of comic book reading seeped into my subconscious to make me become such a Stay-At-Home Geek?

At least I can laugh at it. And even if I do morph into a hulking raging beast-like parent yelling and screaming at my child to stop throwing her toys at least I know in my mind and my heart that I make her laugh WAAAAY more than I make her cry. And after a few minutes she we forget the whole battle incident.