You Gotta Be Cruel To Be Kind…

My toddler has her moments of being a pain-in-the-rump sure. The Terrible-Twos have manifested in her being and some days are better than others. Most days she’s really good; really polite and listens to directions. Some days not. As a first time parent and a Stay-At-Home one I’m quickly learning the tricks to deal with the tantrums, the outbursts and the clumsy I-DO-MYSELF stumbles and fumbles. I also learned a handy trick to help calm her Hyde and return her to her super sweet Jeykll—THE TIME OUT.

Most times Maddie gets a Time Out its for simply bad attitude or a tantrum that turns too ugly to ignore. It’s for a quick minute or two in her room, in her crib with the door closed and most times it feels like we’re doing it simply for empty disciplinary action, more like “playing the role, acting the bad guy for appearances sake.” Sometimes she even self-administers a Time Out when we get a bit annoyed with her which is really odd and we tell her that she isn’t really bad enough for one. But we do it moreso because we learned it actually works and calms her down and returns her to a good state of mind. I’ll go back in and say “Are you ready to be good” and she smiles and says YES and she’ll be great for a long time. Problem solved. On a few occasions if she gives us a hissy-fit over refusing her meal, I’ll put her a Time Out and afterwards she gobbles up the food like the fit never happened. It’s kind of like a penalty box in hockey and it erases the memory of the moments right before.

Today was a tad different though. She refused her lunch even though she specifically requested a PB&J sandwich. When I presented her with it she wouldn’t touch it. So after a few moments of whining and complaining I gave her a time out. After a minute I asked if she’d be good now she replied in the affirmative but when I asked if she’d eat she still told me “No.” So again I gave her a quick Time Out. When I returned again I got the same result from her. So again I gave her a Time Out but for a few minutes longer. I was a bit worried about keeping her in there too long, especially when she got quiet, because I was afraid she’d take a nap. But when I went in her room again she was sitting quietly Indian-style against the headboard with her head down in a toddler-like grief look. It reminded me of Steve McQueen in the Great Escape seeing her sitting there like that. If she had a baseball mitt and ball it would’ve been perfect.

Anyway, when I asked her again if she’d be good she smiled big and said YES. When I asked about her lunch she also said YES. When I carried her out to the living room to eat lunch I asked if she wanted some of my Doritos [as a sort of peace-offering—SEE! I’m not such a bad guy!], she said “No Daddy, I have to eat my sammich first.”

And she did. So the moral of the story is: Hard Time WORKS!! No seriously, as cruel as I felt keeping her in a Time Out because of refusing to eat it actually worked out in a positive way for both of us. So there’s a slight gratification in being cruel when it works out benefiting all parties involved. She happily ate her lunch and got some Doritos and I held my ground as a disciplinarian and father and never seemed to her as the bad guy. And got a better reaction from it then I expected.