Today was Maddie’s second session of Toddler Fun, which is essentially a preschool preschool. It’s an hour of basically a classroom setting but with zero rules. Theres a ‘teacher’ but she’s more or less like a facilitator providing the kids with crafts and cleaning up the messes. She doesn’t teach because the kids are 2 years or younger and they barely do the crafts. In this class there’s 4 other kids and their Moms (yes, I’m the only dude in this class of course) and we mostly do the crafts and kid wrangling. So for the first half hour Maddie goes around the room playing with everything and anything, from the decades-old toys to the books to the blocks. Last week she didn’t do the craft at all but this week she did some of it in-between her running around. Then they have a snack and then the teacher does some sing-a-longs, reads a book or two and then plays some music. Maddie somewhat cares but all-in-all she’s respectful for not causing too much trouble. It’s hardly easy to make sure a toddler maintains any classroom decorum. If they don’t bite another child then it’s a success in my book.
Yet I can’t understand why I am so stressed these past two classes. Why do I feel like she has to be better behaved than she is at home? By that I mean that since it’s a class or a school-like setting do I think that if she doesn’t sit still for the songs or the story or even look my direction for the craft than I’m a bad parent or she’s a bad kid. It’s absurd to feel that way I know, especially since I know she’s a great well behaved girl. I just get a little stressed I think because there’s other people involved. Even before we had Maddie I never even entertained the idea of taking her out to dinner at an early age especially at prime times. Even now we respect the environment we take her to whether it’s for eating or traveling. The last thing I want is for her to act out or have a fit in public especially a restaurant and suffer the embarrassment of being that couple with the obnoxious baby. I guess I embarrass easy in that regard. I don’t know if it’s pride or courtesy but it stresses me a tad. So I think when she’s walking away from the parent-child circle when the teacher is singing a song, I get a little agitated because I may be thinking that the teacher thinks Maddie doesn’t give two shits about her or the song or class and I foolishly think it is a bad reflection on us. But I always have to remind myself that SHE’S 20 MONTHS OLD!!
Christ, if I’m thinking this now what will I stress about when she’s in middle school?
Poppa Penguin 
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