We watch NBC’s Parenthood. At first it was the impressive cast that got us interested and then we were hooked that it wasn’t as silly and far-fetched as the 1989 Ron Howard/Steve Martin dramedy. But what I am most impressed with and enjoy is Sam Jaeger’s character who happens to be a SAHD. And besides his charm and good-looks he actually enjoys and is at ease in letting his wife work (she is a lawyer) and he’s totally fine in not working but watching his daughter. Call it good timing that I’m going through the same thing but now I’m watching this dude every week going through the same thing on a popular TV show. Of course in an hour-long drama with a cast of 20 he’s not always highlighted but he has had some good moments. But in our family I’m hardly the highlight too.

But last season he was more laid-back and less interested in going back to work (he’s a contractor/handyman) but this current season they gave him the conflict of wanting to do some small jobs to help out some people and juggling the time between his daughter and those jobs. But I totally agree that any one, not just men, should not only have an outlet outside the home and kids (especially when being home with the kids ALL DAY is your day) is needed and healthy but doing some work not a hobby is also important especially when one is a professional. I’m a graphic designer by trade and all I need is a good computer with Photoshop to do any work so me saying a home raising my daughter is perfect because there’s not too many jobs one could do in the comfort of ones’ own home. I’ve done some freelance work since losing my job in 2008 and they are mostly small jobs for friends and family but I have done some corporate work as well. Frankly, at this point I can barely juggle my graphic work and my daddy responsibilities. She sucks up most of my time that I can devote to anything not related to her. As of now she is on one nap a day and it’s maybe an hour-and-a-half, two hours if I’m lucky. Last year when she was on two naps I had more time to do some work but now I an barely check my email. So I mostly stay up later at night to do work these days when I get freelance work. But I’m never super busy so it works out. Surprisingly and fortunately we are doing fine financially on one-income, so fingers-crossed, we can stay afloat as long we can.

Now I’m not saying that I will never go back to work full time but I just don’t see that happening anytime soon. In the decade I worked full time as a designer I had one job out of six that I liked and an office I enjoyed working in. Call it bad luck or bad profession but I am very bitter and reluctant to return to that life. I will take sleepless nights, dirty diapers, crying for (seemingly) no reason and temper tantrums over the mindless office politics and asshole bosses any day. I don’t need to go to an office and commute hours away to feel good about myself. I’m confident enough that I don’t need recognition, promotions or accolades from some boss. My baby is my boss now and she may be over-working me and whiny like an office boss but she is by far the best boss I ever had. Sometimes she gives me a lunch break too.

Here’s to my new buddy, The Jaegermeister!

I didn’t do much preparation in starting this blog. I didn’t even research if there was any other SAHD websites or blogs that I may be aping or making what I’m writing redundant. My wife said there’s a couple but she said they are mostly negative or written with bitterness or resentment about the situation they are in and cannot wait to go back to work. So if I’m still in this frame of mind and good humor about being a SAHD then I may be the first one writing publicly about the joys as well as the pains of staying at home with my kid. I also plan on being very glib and easy-going in writing this blog. Very impromptu. The best thing about this blog is that I am not a professional at being a SAHD. I don’t know if I ever will be. I think I make at least one mistake every day. Nothing major of course but something I shake my head at. But like how Doogie Howser wrote his end-of-episode diary entries or Carrie Bradshaw wrote her journal about her sex and the city adventures I guess I plan on being the SAHD Carrie Bradshaw. What Doogie, Carrie and I have in common is how unprepared or inept we are at what we do. Doogie was a 15-year-old surgeon, Carrie jumps from one disaster relationship to the next and who had friends who were even worse than she. I am totally new at raising kids so we all have our journals, diaries, blogs, etc. to express our thoughts, desires, mishaps, joys and pains and epiphanies to whoever cares to read or listen.

I have to give much love and incredible tribute to my wife. Not only is she busting her butt working every (long) day to make sure there’s food on the table and heat in the house but she’s also the inspiration for this blog. She thought it would be a good idea for me to have this blog for many reasons but the main one is for my benefit and my sanity to maybe jot down my adventures as a SAHD and express myself. I know of some guys who do the stay-at-home gig but they eventually go back to work or it was only for a short time. I also know of some guys who work from home and don’t/won’t/can’t do the fatherly duties even while being in the same house. I’m the only husband I know that from my daughter’s birth to now (20 months later) is still seeing no end in doing the SAHD gig and my wife and I even talk about what would happen if we had another child in a few years and I think I would still stay at home in the same role. From the get-go of my wife’s pregnancy we knew I would stay at home and my wife was totally on board and still (surprisingly) praises me and thanks me for being a SAHD. I still have bouts of guilt that all fiscal responsibility is on her shoulders but it has calmed down a lot. She assures me that she loves her job enough that she has no qualms going in the office everyday, although she does desperately misses time with our adorable daughter but she is very grateful that I am the one home watching her and that we don’t have to put her in day-care or burden someone else. So I cannot thank, support and love my working wife ENOUGH. She is our rock and our captain and I am her loyal first mate.

First thing I did my first day as a SAHD was watch Mr. Mom. I haven’t seen it since the 80s. It did exactly what I thought it would/should do. Make me laugh and prepare me for the unknown. The funniest thing I found with Michael Keaton’s hapless stay-at-home patriarch was the difference he handled things in spite of how his wife or how a typical parent/guardian would. And I don’t think he handled them badly or that he didn’t know how to handle these wacky and new experiences it’s how he solves his troubles or his kids troubles. The grilled-cheese sandwich isn’t melted enough? Use the clothes iron that is already hot…why not? Problem solved. The innovation that he shows is a great inspiration not only for the light-hearted humor but as a SAHD it relieves some stress for any future problems or crises. As a critical thinker AND now as a stay at home parent raising and caring for a baby I have to think faster and more creatively. What would ease my child’s teething pain? What can I do to make her eat her lunch? Her blankey is filthy and needs to be washed and SHE ABSOLUTELY CANNOT GO ANOTHER MINUTE WITHOUT IT!! As a parent you will learn to think faster to solve these issues or you will go insane. And it has nothing to do with gender because every parent will learn to cope with the new issues but I think the way the issues are approached and solved might be gender-centrically different. That’s the main point to Mr. Mom in that a man at home with kids might use unconventional means to figure out the madness at home. At least that’s how I might be as a SAHD.

I think I should write the remake screenplay.

So why the title Poppa Penguin? Well to those of my readers who didn’t see the documentary March of the Penguins a few years back the father penguin is the one who watches and keeps the unhatched eggs warm while the mother penguin goes back into the frozen and treacherous wilderness to retrieve food for their growing family. Even if the egg hatches the father penguin watches over the safety and concern of the young penguin until the momma penguin returns with the food. It’s not uncommon in the animal kingdom for the mother to be the provider of food and shelter for the family. Lionesses get the food not the den father. Lady Robin’s are the ones getting that early worm.

But the fact that the father penguin stays and watches over the egg/young while the mother goes out and gets the goods is what resonated so much to our family and what we’re going through at this point in our lives. You can all it a sacrifice, the greater-good, a necessity, a surrender, all-part-of-the-plan, or even dumb-luck that I’m not working and staying at home caring for my daughter but I am happy to do it. I don’t resent not working or going along with this gender reversal notion of the man is the sole provider. My wife makes more money and enjoys doing what she’s doing as a profession more than I do or probably will ever can and as long as we’re both happy, comfortable and financially stable with our situation than I say it just makes sense for me to take the SAHD role. I’m not saying it’s an easy decision nor am I saying it’s always easy on my psyche that my wife is the sole provider but I will say that I am still proud (prouder) of the loving and supportive family we’ve built and that we continue to grow in that direction.

A little introduction to this blog. I have been a Stay-At-Home-Dad or SAHD for 20 months now to our adorable daughter Madeleine (or Maddie, Mads) and have decided to chronicle my exploits, adventures and trials and tribulations in this blog format. Nothing fancy but I hope its entertaining, educational and fun to most of you readers. I’ll try to frank and open most of the time without getting too detailed and wordy.

A little about me: I am a first time father, 32-years-old, married for over 5 years and a graphic designer by profession and has had 5-6 jobs in a decades time. My wife is currently working full time at the same employment for over 10 years. When I lost my latest job in summer of 2008 we were already in the midst of planning our first child. Regardless of the lost income we decided to still have our beautiful daughter as we planned and haven’t regretted a single moment since. Except for the formula mishap. [more on that later]

I dedicate this blog to my wonderful, loving & very supportive wife as well to my adorable daughter Madeleine, the sole reason I’m writing this blog in the first place.